The iPhone 5 is meh

The iPhone 5 is a big disappointment. After an eternity – or at least it felt that way – of building up anticipation, Apple unleashes a phone that doesn’t do much to improve the previous version, but does a lot in terms of screwing loyal customers over.

I am, of course, talking about the new connector.

The iPhone’s ridiculously low batt mileage has driven me to buying at least four chargers, one car charger, and one hybrid batt pack. All of which , if I choose to buy the iPhone 5, will now have to be replaced or – the slightly less odious alternative – fitted with adaptors, reportedly retailing at more than 20 dollars a pop.  Good job, milking me for more money, Apple!

And are the new features worth the added expense and hassle? They don’t seem to be.

A larger screen does what, for instance? I mean aside from making the phone more unwieldy and looking like an Android device. It’s thinner and lighter, you say? For real people, that only makes the phone harder to handle, unless of course the only time you take out your phone is when you’re sat at a Starbucks sipping your overpriced coffee. Try using a phone that thin and light while being jostled around on a bus, or while trying to hang-on a struggling kid in a mall with a sale on toys. As it is, a lot of people feel the need to bulk up their iPhones with clunky protectors – yes, Otter, I’m looking at you – and you’re gonna go with a phone that’s even thinner and lighter? Seriously.

Oh, what about the shared photostream? Great. Brilliant, even. Just what we need in this age of drunken texts, pervy self-shots, and all around douche-ness with cell cameras – an easier way to fuck yourself up. Thanks a bunch.

On the homefront though, Spot.ph has taken it upon itself to toot Apple’s horn. Reading more like a paid advert than a serious report, Spot’s iPhone article panders to the consumeristic idiocy of most people my generation and younger. Articles like this are the reason why Filipino sites like Spot are difficult to take seriously. In fact, no. It’s the reason why the entire media industry in the Philippines is hard to take seriously. Without exception, Philippine media caters to the lowest common denominator – the thirst for consumerism, the hunger for scandal and politics, and the absolute lust to be little brown — well. There is space for that rant somewhere else.

In any case, the bottom line is that the iPhone5 is meh, at best. If you have a 4S, then you have enough. If you’re looking to get a new smartphone, Samsung’s offerings are much better. And if you don’t care either way, here’s a picture of a cat.

 

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